If I ax a question… I expect an answer… Not the back story…  -Darrell E. Housey Jr.

Nipples in public are offensive…

I have heard it all… Two days in a row.. “You wanna sit?… I don’t like anyone standing in front of me”…. “Does this train go to Elephant Plaza?”

WH is responsible for “show me the receipts”… And “hell to the nawl”

It takes a lot to offend me…. But not really…

For clarity… Baltimore is not a part of “The DMV”… I repeat… Baltimore is NOT a part of “The DMV”… Check your local listings… I wanna say they are hooked up with Delmarva

Being passive aggressive or throwing shade doesn’t always work… Particularly when the person targeted isn’t bright enough to catch it…

Everybody wearing earbuds ain’t listening to music… Umm hunh.. #nastyass

Dang it!!! I slipped on a packet of catsup in Wholefoods. But my pride wouldn’t let me hit the floor… Damn.. Damn.. Damn!!

I have been living for 43.. Almost 44 years.. I have never once forgotten to eat.. Not once!!.. Who are these people!!….

The next time you stop speaking to someone… You might want to tell them… Chances are they aint thankin bout chu… Thus they won’t notice…

The time I just spent in the frozen foods section… Making life decisions… About ice cream… #mylife

“Yes.. No egg…. Because I’ve said nothing about an egg… You ma’am have inserted egg into this conversation… Would you like egg?”… *blank stare*

Adding to the list of trigger words…”No egg?”…If I don’t mention egg… I prolly don’t want.. Egg…

One thang I know fa sure… You will not git on this train before me… And I will set down… #metro101 #standbig #onouwont

After years of telling people to “Go ta hell!!..”… With the racial climate as it is…I am prepared to send them or take them myself if I have to…. They goin!!

Everybody I’ve run into since the election is upset… But somebody had to have voted for him… #letmefindout #somebodylyin #ifnotUwho #not2dolist

Where do the fatback that seem to always be on the stove come from?.. Is it brought in?.. Is it sold and packaged separately to pull out at any time ?… Is there a fatback fairy?? I’ve lived 44 years and I have never seen fatback cooked… #random

You know you old when you put candy in your pocket you know you not gon eat…

I enjoy pulling out coats from last season… Up to a pack of chewing gum, business cards, $20 and a pair of uneventful sunglasses. *screaming*… Big $.. Big $ No Wammies!! *crosses fingers*… Dear White Baby Jeddah wrapped in swaddling clothes… Please let me dig in a pocket soon and come back with at least one pair of dem misplaced Gucci sunglasses.. In yo name Jeddah….. Amen

#churchfvckery… It’s a thing

I don’t play a character on TV..Don’t make me remind you who I am…. -Darrell E. Housey Jr.