If I ax a question… I expect an answer… Not the back story…  -Darrell E. Housey Jr.

Nipples in public are offensive…

I have heard it all… Two days in a row.. “You wanna sit?… I don’t like anyone standing in front of me”…. “Does this train go to Elephant Plaza?”

WH is responsible for “show me the receipts”… And “hell to the nawl”

It takes a lot to offend me…. But not really…

For clarity… Baltimore is not a part of “The DMV”… I repeat… Baltimore is NOT a part of “The DMV”… Check your local listings… I wanna say they are hooked up with Delmarva

Being passive aggressive or throwing shade doesn’t always work… Particularly when the person targeted isn’t bright enough to catch it…

Everybody wearing earbuds ain’t listening to music… Umm hunh.. #nastyass

Dang it!!! I slipped on a packet of catsup in Wholefoods. But my pride wouldn’t let me hit the floor… Damn.. Damn.. Damn!!

I have been living for 43.. Almost 44 years.. I have never once forgotten to eat.. Not once!!.. Who are these people!!….

The next time you stop speaking to someone… You might want to tell them… Chances are they aint thankin bout chu… Thus they won’t notice…

The time I just spent in the frozen foods section… Making life decisions… About ice cream… #mylife

“Yes.. No egg…. Because I’ve said nothing about an egg… You ma’am have inserted egg into this conversation… Would you like egg?”… *blank stare*

Adding to the list of trigger words…”No egg?”…If I don’t mention egg… I prolly don’t want.. Egg…

One thang I know fa sure… You will not git on this train before me… And I will set down… #metro101 #standbig #onouwont

After years of telling people to “Go ta hell!!..”… With the racial climate as it is…I am prepared to send them or take them myself if I have to…. They goin!!

Everybody I’ve run into since the election is upset… But somebody had to have voted for him… #letmefindout #somebodylyin #ifnotUwho #not2dolist

Where do the fatback that seem to always be on the stove come from?.. Is it brought in?.. Is it sold and packaged separately to pull out at any time ?… Is there a fatback fairy?? I’ve lived 44 years and I have never seen fatback cooked… #random

You know you old when you put candy in your pocket you know you not gon eat…

I enjoy pulling out coats from last season… Up to a pack of chewing gum, business cards, $20 and a pair of uneventful sunglasses. *screaming*… Big $.. Big $ No Wammies!! *crosses fingers*… Dear White Baby Jeddah wrapped in swaddling clothes… Please let me dig in a pocket soon and come back with at least one pair of dem misplaced Gucci sunglasses.. In yo name Jeddah….. Amen

#churchfvckery… It’s a thing

I don’t play a character on TV..Don’t make me remind you who I am…. -Darrell E. Housey Jr.

 

 

You have one time to look me dead in my face and not speak…. #youRDead2me

Did they every burry James Brown?

Some days you really should just stay in the house for your sanity and to protect others…

Sometimes my anointment scares me..

Open letter to FB: In 10 words or less.. Please explain to me why you thank I might know that person you suggested… Also.. Please provide the name of the connection associated with said person… Cuz they ghats ta go…

If you break your neck… Damn near push people down to board a train… I promise you I am goin to set right beside you… Irregardless of me passing several empty seats

I recently befriended someone who insists on greeting me via texts with.. WYD….. I voiced how annoying and problematic the action was yet it continued…. Eventually….All I could respond with was…. BYE…

If you know you have no intentions of going… Why you mad you ain’t get invited?

People don’t say excuse me anymore.. I’m sorry. Clarification… Most white people don’t say it…

Open letter to folk off train:  You not gon walk across the whole ghat damn platform…

I’m clearly not using the minutes on my text machine …. Can I trade them in for something?

If you ax me a question and I blatantly… Obviously ignore you… You will be better served to accept ignoration…

I must put this quote somewhere for later use…”Don’t let gentrification get you fucked up in here”

Don’t confuse friendship with people you’ve been acquainted with for a long time… – Darrell E. Housey Jr.

This is me pumping up the jams… *looks up Phyllis Hyman playlist*

You may not understand 2+2… But it will always be 4…Just because you missed the intended point of this thread doesn’t mean one wasn’t made… Reading is fundamental… Comprehension is key…

Pretty sure the train operator just came for the citizens of the Good Green Line as we approached Anacostia station.. “Anacostia… Where most of you will be gettin off…”… That red call button was blocked… Lest I would have been able to holla…”Ya muvah gittin off!!”…. Da hell he talkin bout?!?… Train full of people comin from work… Clearly the majority ain’t headed to Anacostia..

Is there a silent U in “similar” that I continually forget to pronounce?

If ever you ask your friend about the specifics of their life.. And their response is “I put it on Facebook “… You two aren’t as close as you think.

Say yes to Jeddah… And yaaaes to style!!

Sometimes you jes have to go.. Or don’t… But don’t chu dare look sideways when the invite stops coming…. Umm hunh..

I love it when a co-worker mistakenly calls me “Jeff”… A fellow…”co-worker”… Their reaction is priceless…

Would’ve is a contraction for “Would have”…. “Would of”…. Sounds like the pronunciation of “would’ve” and likely used by people we finally ghat to stop sayin “conversate”

*deep sigh*…Don’t get me wrong.. I think she can sing.. I even enjoy her.. But the misappropriation of superlative adjectives by this country on this voice that would be considered just above mediocre if not for her hue has left me more than annoyed…. You know they have people who have a similar sound… Many actually… I dare say better… The jes don’t look like her… Umm hunh…

The time is now!!!….Turn your plakes over…Grab your rosaries…Drop to yo knees.. Molly.. We in danjah gur!!

If your project don’t show no sign of a Hammond or tambourine.. Is it really “gospel?l”

You really have to use disinfecting wipes… Lest they’ll become paper towels…’

I need a gun..

I declare.. Bananas are THE most hateful fruit.. I like them.. But theyoon’t like me… And I thought satan had me bound.. He ain’t got nuffin on deez nanas..

You all in my lane today dawtah… Was having dinner the other day with friends… A young… Obese lady almost went out of her way the entire time to keep chiming in…”Ioon eat dat… Ioon eat dat… Uggh.. Ioon eat dat”… It took all I had to not go…”We’ll.. Clearly.. You’ve been enjoying something!!”

Don’t take everything so personal… Everyone’s negative exchange with you may not even be about you… Get over yourself…#preachin2myself…

Kelly Price – Soul of a Woman

I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard the lead single “Friend of Mine”… I was on 295 headed home and by time she got to hollerin “How could you do it” I just about lost control of the car goin round the bend… Kelly Price was my kind of singer… Just hollerin… For no good reason… Debut project didn’t let me down… A perfect introduction to the woman that would become one my favorite female singers..

Brian McKnight – Brian McKnight

There is nothing quite like a sangin man.. Who sounds like a woman… Brian McKnight screams bad.. I knew out the gate when I heard “Is this the way love goes” that he was something special.. That notion was cemented when I saw him perform at a homecoming concert at the University of Maryland to a crowd who barely knew his name..He did the entire CD.. From top to bottom.. Standing in front of a keyboard…I was sold!!

Lauryn Hill – The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

 Instant classic… She should have just retired after its release because there was just gonna be no topping it.. Well.. Didn’t she kinda do that?… *scratches head*… But I digress… Her beautiful tone was captured on equally beautiful and well written songs (by who is debatable) that are just timeless… If you’re gonna have just one project… This would be the one to have!

Donnie – The Colored Section

 Arguably THE best Most underrated debut male R&B project.. EVER!!… His voice is like bacon.. It makes everything better…  How this project flew under the radar is beyond me… Solid project from top to bottom that is still in rotation in my music library…. Amazing voice… Incredible mix of timeless songs… You can’t ask for more…

John Legend – Get Lifted

 John Legend is just the truth… This may have been a debut project but he certainly wasn’t new to the game… I had been introduced to him years before via two independent releases so I knew exactly what to expect… The project is just R&B perfection… He’s stays true to the genre while still managing to be mainstream (Pop).. To this day “Live it up” is still my mantra…

Hol lup..

So Leonard Nimoy passes on Friday… And is in the ground on Sunday.. And people are mad at William Shatner?… Come on now.. He was probably thankin… It’s gon take at least a day for everybody to get to the house.. A couple days to round up and go through the pictures…Set Shiva…Make sure that policy right… Decide on colors… Who AIN’T gon sang… Get everybody to the left coast.. Do we really need 5 limos ?(That’s another $300 per).. Can’t nobody find Uncle Ron…And look for the imaginary $ he no doubt left behind in the house… He was thankin mid- late March @ earliest… 2 days?.. Are we sure he was even gone?.. I’ve had naps that have gone about that long..

RIP Mr. Nimoy